So, You Want To Be A Politician?

American Edition

Turns out we don’t. At least not this cycle.

NOT a satirical board game about our beloved politicians.

A red carpet running up a crowded marble staircase to the Capitol dome
The Candidate Ascends.

Start with your ideals. Trade them for donors. Win the Presidency.

We’re not done with this game. Politicians never really go away, and neither do we. If it comes back, you’ll be the first to know.

Even Playing Field

A blue donkey carrying a crowd of politicians
The Blue Lane
An elephant draped in red on a crowded convention floor
The Red Lane

Thomas Nast made both of these animals famous in Harper’s Weekly. We gave them identical rules, so nobody gets a head start on selling out.

“The dice are more honest than my representative.”

Swing Voter
  • 2 to 6 Players
  • 14+ Ages
  • 30 to ? Minutes

“It made my family stop talking at Thanksgiving. Improvement.”

Grateful Host

Watch The Trailer

Three overlapping scandals, a tearful press conference and a strongly worded cease-and-desist later, we suspended the campaign. The trailer still holds up.

Some Of The Decks

Donor: deck back

Donor

Wealth and Favors.

Journalism: deck back

Journalism

The press covers the campaign.

Media Empire: deck back

Media Empire

Passive. Runs continuously.

Platform: deck back

Platform

Starting beliefs, traded away over the game.

Quirk: deck back

Quirk

Two per candidate. Everyone has a flaw.

Super PAC: deck back

Super PAC

Once you are rich enough, it acts on its own. Legally, it is not you.

…and 7 more decks of political cards.

“I will neither confirm nor deny that I played this.”

Senior Official, Speaking on Background

Pick A Candidate

The Celebrity
The Union Boss
The General Who Ran

“Part board game, part social self-reflection.
You choose which.”

Response to a politically jaded former classmate

What’s In The Box? (Probably)

  • 13 Decks of political failure, now in glossy
  • 20 Candidates two strengths and two fatal flaws each
  • 1 Game Board the long climb from Private Citizen to the Presidency
  • 1 Rulebook read it before your opponents do
  • 6 Player Boards one for each would-be leader of the free world
  • 6 Pawns in six colors, none of them red or blue
  • 5 Action Dice fate, rigged fairly
  • Tokens Wealth, Votes, Integrity, Party Favor and so many Scandal markers
  • 30 Space Tiles the road to power, laid one tile at a time
  • 9 Tier Markers backstabs and handouts, up and down
  • 5 Lobbyists who would love a word
  • A Touch of Sanity
  • Perspective

Also moral outrage, depression and, you know, Pandora’s stuff.

And maybe more! (or less)

“This belongs in a museum of American culture.
Possibly as a warning.”

Self (Un)employed software engineer

How To Play Yourself

A village church and house behind stone gate posts

At first glance, it looks like a civics lesson.

You begin as an idealistic candidate holding Platform cards: actual policy positions you believe in.

Men hauling sacks of money up a red-carpeted staircase

Then the donors call.

Platform cards block Donors. Donors give you Wealth. Wealth buys power. Power requires Donors.

A candidate with his head in his hands at a prayer breakfast while the men around him whisper

Every step forward costs you a belief.

You race to win elections while systematically trading those beliefs away for Donors, Votes, and Favors.

The Capitol at night under a stormy sky

Somebody wins the Presidency.

You win! But, you dangled your chad at your home in Dominion on Your Pillow. Will you survive?
Vote to find out!

“We’re going to need to see the receipts.”

Ethics Committee

Four Steps To The Top

  1. Campaign

    Win elections and climb the tiers.

  2. Fundraise

    Court Donors for Wealth, Votes, and Favors.

  3. Sell Out

    Trade away a belief every time a Donor wants in.

  4. Survive

    Bury your scandals before the press finds them.

“I had a spreadsheet. I lost anyway.”

Campaign Strategist (Retired)

Questions From The Press Pool

Except for those of you sitting out.

Which party does this game make fun of?

All of them, equally. The Red and Blue lanes are mechanically identical, so every candidate sells out at the same rate.

Are real politicians in it?

No. Every candidate is an archetype. Any resemblance to someone you have yelled at on television is your own business.

Is the art made with AI?

Yes, and we would rather tell you up front. The art was made with AI image tools from prompts we wrote, then picked, edited and composited by hand, over months. We also use tools like Photoshop and ImageMagick to clean up, crop and lay out every piece. Every prompt also gets a style reference image we made ourselves, so the whole set keeps one look. See an example prompt. It echoes Thomas Nast, whose cartoons in Harper’s Weekly helped bring down Boss Tweed. Same circus, 150 years later. The rules, the cards and the copy are ours, and the game has been playtested at a real table.

Who is it for?

2 to 6 players, ages 14 and up. Give it 30 to 120 minutes, or however long until the fighting starts. A healthy distrust of campaign ads helps.

What happened to the campaign?

So, You Want To Be A Politician? Turns out we don’t. At least not this cycle. We canceled the Kickstarter on October 29, 2026. Politicians never really go away, and neither do we - if it comes back, you’ll be the first to know.

Will you sell my email to a super PAC?

No. We will email you if the campaign comes back, and now and then when we have a new game to show you. Unsubscribe any time. Unlike our candidates, we are telling you that up front.

An empty red chair under a spotlight on a stage, facing a packed gallery
The hot seat.

“After reading a lot of overheated puffery about your new candidate, you know what I’m craving? A little perspective. That’s it. I’d like some fresh, clear, well-seasoned PERSPECTIVE.”

That Movie Guy’s Political Brother

Be The First To Know

So, You Want To Be A Politician? Turns out we don’t. At least not this cycle. We’re not done with this game - politicians never really go away, and neither do we. If it comes back, you’ll be the first to know.

“Final price will correlate to your local economy. Register to buy a copy for your favorite politician today!”

Campaign Finance Office
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